There’s a lot of noise about AI taking over pretty much everything. Productivity tools. Creative work. Strategic analysis. Even emotional support chatbots.
Fine. Let me know how that works out for you when you’re sitting in a hospital waiting room at 2 a.m.

Because here’s what AI can’t do

• Show up when it’s inconvenient.
• Remember what matters to you without being prompted.
• Offer help that costs them something (time, attention, vulnerability) with no strings attached.
Being human still trumps everything. The real question is: are you actually using that advantage?

When did you last offer to help someone?

I am talking about truly helping them and expecting nothing in return. Not the conditional “buy from me and then I’ll help you.” Not the transactional networking disguised as generosity. The real thing. As in ‘Let me know if I can do anything for you. No strings.’
I’m betting your answer is: “I don’t know.” Or “What would I do that for?” Or “There’s nothing in it for me.”
I used to think that way too. About seven years ago, I made a conscious decision to change one thing. Ask how they were, then shut up and actually listen. Then ask: “Is there anything I can do for you?”
Few people have taken me up on it. But I am forever remembered for it. And if you believe in karma like I do, that karma comes back a million times over.

Last week, I shared ideas about building friendships in adulthood. Today, let’s look at ways to deepen BOTH professional and personal relationships in ways that actually matter.

1. Offer help free of obligation. Just because.
   Someone did this for me recently. Completely out of the blue. No pity. No charity. No sales call masquerading as kindness. No quid pro quo. Just one human extending their hand and another accepting it. Neither of us will forget the other. Ever.
   Most of us are so focused on surviving and thriving that we forget that simple acts create lasting bonds. Spending 30 minutes with another human means infinitely more than knocking another item off the endless to-do list.
2. Be the one who makes the effort.
   In business, we respect people who raise their hands first, follow up as required, and generally keep things moving forward. Those people are valued. Promoted. Remembered.
   Friendships work exactly the same way.
   Some experts call this “aggressive friendship.” Calling, texting, and arranging plans without apology or embarrassment. Not waiting for the perfect moment. Not wondering if you’re being annoying.
   One simple practice to start today: Whenever you think of a friend, call them. Right then. Even if it’s only five minutes. Even if it feels random.
   Your competitive advantage in business was often your ability to move fast and follow through. Why would friendship be different?
3. Tailor your approach to what they actually need.
   In business, we ask customers about their preferences so we can tailor our approach. Nobody questions this. Everyone appreciates it. And it works exactly the same way in our personal relationships.
   Think deliberately about how you engage with specific people. Research shows men often connect better “shoulder-to-shoulder” (i.e. coaching kids’ teams, volunteering, working on projects) than face-to-face over dinner. Women often need different things. A couple of hours to simply BE, a treat time, ten minutes on the run just to vent. Your friends need different things from each other.
   Stop defaulting to the same tired coffee meeting and actually think about what energizes the person you’re trying to connect with.
4. Ask for help.
   We all want to be seen as strong, invincible, together. Here’s the truth: NONE of us are. We’ve simply learned to wear impenetrable masks.
   I did it for years. Until I realized I was wasting enormous energy trying to figure out things that could be easily solved if I just asked.
   Research confirms what feels counterintuitive. Asking for help strengthens relationships. We think it burdens people. It doesn’t. Think about how you feel when a friend trusts you enough to ask for help.
   It doesn’t have to be major. A recommendation. Advice on a decision. The vulnerability of asking signals trust, and trust deepens the connection.
5. Get out of your own head.
   Nobody worries more about you, your appearance, your demeanour, and your every move than YOU.
   I see so many of us arrested by fear of being … what? Not enough?
   Get over yourself. Nobody is enough. We’ve all got weak spots. And we’ve all got way more brilliance than we give ourselves credit for. Brilliance others love and rely on.
   Before seeing a friend, consider: Is there something specific I want to discuss? Something they mentioned last time I should follow up on? It’s not overthinking. It’s showing up engaged instead of defaulting to surface-level pleasantries because you’re worried about how you’re coming across.

The human advantage

AI will never replicate the memory of someone showing up for you when they didn’t have to. The feeling of being seen by another human who asks how you are and waits for the real answer. The satisfaction of helping someone who trusts you enough to ask.
These aren’t soft skills. They’re survival skills. Especially now, when everything feels uncertain, and algorithms are optimizing everything except what actually sustains us.

Real relationships are infrastructure. And unlike the infrastructure you’ve built professionally, this kind requires something you’re exceptionally good at when you choose to deploy it. Showing up consistently, reading the room, and making the effort even when it’s not convenient.
You built companies, careers and lives. For yourself; for others. You can build this too.
Tell me how it goes for you, will you?