Provocative question, I know. But I recently did this exercise and was genuinely blown away. I want to walk you through it. First, full credit where it’s due. This isn’t my work. It belongs to a brilliant fellow named Ant Blair. You can find him at antblair.com. He’s currently updating his website and programs, so the original PDF may not be available just yet. But the concept is too good to wait on. Ant created this exercise to show us, immediately and visually, exactly who we have access to. Because access to the right people makes everything in life easier. Fair warning: you’ll probably do this twice. Once within his suggested 30-minute window. And again, a few days later, when the dust settles, and you remember all the people your brain skipped the first time around.

Download (no email required)     Here’s something most of us never stop to consider Our relationships don’t all operate at the same level. Some people in your life can stop you, steer you, or save you. Others are great for a light ask and nothing more. Most of us mix these up! And that’s exactly why we get ghosted, burn bridges, or find ourselves strangely alone when it matters most. You may have heard of Dunbar’s number, the research suggesting our brains can only maintain roughly 150 stable relationships at once. We don’t have unlimited capacity. So the question isn’t just who is in your life. It’s whether the right people are in the right roles. The Access Rings Audit answers that. Put the right names in the right rings, and two things happen immediately. You stop over-asking the wrong people, AND you stop under-leveraging the right ones. Here’s how it works. Every person you know belongs in one of four concentric circles: Ring 5  your innermost circle. Three to five people who know the real you, unfiltered. You’d give them veto power over your biggest decisions because the trust between you is unbreakable. Ring 15  your ten closest allies. People you can call for real, effortful help without it feeling awkward or transactional. No score-keeping. No sense of overreach. Ring 50  your active network. Warm, ongoing relationships. Regular DMs, emails, calls. Value genuinely flows both ways. Ring 150  your wider community. Your option pool. Good for light asks, ambient connection, and the occasional pleasant surprise. Once you’ve placed everyone, you get an immediate, honest picture of how solid your relationship foundation really is, and where the gaps are. Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.   A few things worth knowing about yourself before you start. If you tend toward the transactional side of the spectrum, Ring 5 is likely your spouse and one or two people you trust completely. Ring 15 is your inner circle of reliable allies. And Rings 50 and 150? That’s often where the hidden gold lives. That’s where the relationships most likely to generate real business value if you invest even a little more attention there. If you’re more relationship-focused, you’ll pour yourself into Rings 5 and 15, touch Ring 50 occasionally, and largely ignore Ring 150. That’s not wrong. Relationships take time, and time has limits. If you find yourself needing more resources, whether in life or business, it’s worth thinking about how to thoughtfully engage more of the people already sitting in Rings 50 and 150. Now here’s what I really want you to sit with. -Do the people in your rings put you in the same ring you put them in? Why or why not? -Take an honest guess at where you land in their circles. Are you satisfied with that? If not, what would it actually take to move up or simply to show up better? -Does your Ring 50 reflect the diversity of thought, perspective, and expertise you want access to? What would need to change? Because here’s the uncomfortable truth Relationship building is entirely our own responsibility. And it’s one of those things that is both poorly understood and rarely done well. It has nothing to do with the hollow networking we’ve all learned to tolerate at conferences, get-togethers and on LinkedIn. This exercise ultimately holds up a mirror to how much we matter to other people. And why. I know exactly where I need to pay more attention after doing it.   I’d genuinely love to know where it takes you.