I’m six months out from hand surgery. Most people would be completely done and at 95% of what they used to be. As a member of the 1% outlier club, I can report that after a TON of work, I am finally at 75%-85%, with little upside remaining. AND I still have another six months of (only) 12-hour splinting left.

A couple of weeks ago, I was feeling sorry for myself when something clicked. I made it through a nearly impossible situation and have MOST of my functionality back. Far too many others have given up along the way.

See, I’ve spent years dismissing compliments about my resilience. “It’s not resilience,” I’d say. “It’s just the way I think. It’s just me.” Then, I read something that stopped me cold. Designing systems and following them imperfectly? That IS resilience.

Not the “power through” kind. The “design for reality and keep showing up even when it’s slow” kind.

That is the approach that’s gotten my fingers working again, and it is the only approach I’ve ever used to accomplish anything I was keen to make happen. It’s the exact opposite of what most people do. And could be the reason why most goals are never realized.

Here are three distinctions for you to consider.

First: Design for Today, Not Tomorrow

Most goals get set when we’re imagining our best future self—New Year’s Eve energy, post-vacation clarity, right after something clicks. So we design for tomorrow’s version of ourselves:
• Work out six days a week
• Up at 5 a.m. daily
• Meditate for an hour
Then today shows up. Stress. Travel. Exhaustion. The version of you that set those goals? Still somewhere in tomorrow.

Peak-based goals don’t inspire us when we’re struggling. They shame us.
The fix? Design for today—your sustainable default.

My rehab started with tiny finger movements and low repetitions. Not because that’s what healed fingers need eventually. Because that’s what my actual hand could do on that day.

I had to work up to larger movements over larger blocks of time. If I’d started by designing for “fully functional fingers,” I would have failed immediately and hurt myself in the process.

When your baseline holds, you never “fall off.” You never restart. Consistency compounds.

Second: Direction Beats Certainty Every Time

Here’s the thing about being in the 1% outliers club: there’s zero certainty about what will happen. Zero guarantees.

But that doesn’t mean you give up.

It means you give your best to the effort. And your best changes every single day. As long as you have zero days without an “I tried,” you’re moving in the right direction.

I see this paralysis with the leaders I work with. Brilliant people, stuck waiting for certainty that will never arrive. The perfect next career move. The perfect plan. The perfect moment.

But clarity doesn’t come from thinking. It comes from moving. Direction says something different than certainty:
• “This way.”
• “Not that way.”
• “Let’s adjust as we go.”
Think of it like driving at night. Your headlights don’t show the whole road—just enough to keep moving. As you move, more road appears.

Your nervous system knows the difference, too. When you have direction (even if details are fuzzy), your body relaxes. When you’re demanding certainty, your body stays tense.

The question isn’t: “What’s the perfect destination?”
The question is: “Am I generally moving in the right direction?”
That’s how momentum gets born.

Third: Correction, Not Judgment

This is the hardest one. We, humans, are hardwired for judgment.

Every time my rehab hit an impasse, I tried on every excuse: Bad surgeon (not true). Past the optimum healing age (that doesn’t exist). Not treating it seriously enough (bah). Failed at making them work harder (really?).

Judgment is so much easier than correction. But correction means trying a different protocol. Easing back a bit. Being brutally honest with yourself. And often, removing your preconceived notions about how things “should” be going.

Self-judgment doesn’t motivate change. It trains avoidance. Your nervous system learns: “This pursuit equals pain.”

I once heard mastery described as “the rate of correction, not the absence of error.”

That reframed everything

Masters aren’t people who never fail. They’re people who fail, notice, adjust, and continue—faster than everyone else. They:
• Notice quickly
• Adjust calmly
• Continue without drama
Missed a workout? That’s not proof you’re lazy. It’s data. What got in the way? What could you adjust?

Broke your diet? That’s not proof you lack willpower. It’s feedback. What was happening emotionally? What need were you trying to meet?

Correction is clinical. Curious. Kind. Judgment is emotional. Harsh. Final.

When you fall short, never ask: “What’s wrong with me?”
Always ask: “What can I learn and adjust?”

What This Adds Up To

Most of us don’t fail to achieve our goals because we lack motivation or intelligence.

We fail because we’re using the wrong mental models.

We design for tomorrow, not today.

We demand certainty instead of direction.

We choose judgment instead of correction.

Shift these three things, and everything changes. Not through force. Through alignment.

Six months in, and my fingers are way better than expected. Sure, the results are
not near perfection. That was never meant to be, no matter how much I hoped. The swelling is completely gone. I am starting to grip things better. I can make a bit of a fist, and I can finally do two-handed typing (very badly) again.

Not because I pushed harder. Because I gave it my best efforts every single day. I designed for today, trusted direction over guarantees, and corrected without shame.

Those are the real secrets behind goal setting and resilience. Try them yourself, and tell me how it goes.