Do you remember the old M&Ms commercial? “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand?” I think of that line every time I mess up.
Several years ago, I heard an analogy that stopped me in my tracks. It was so brilliant I immediately claimed it as my own. Now, let’s be honest, this is what we ALL do with the best ideas we encounter.
But first, let me establish three non-negotiable facts:
- Chocolate is its own food group
- Dark chocolate is superior in every way (anything less than 80% cacao is just sugar masquerading as sophistication)
- Eating dark chocolate is both a divine pleasure and a health food
I’m personally prepared to die on this hill. Fight me if you must, but be warned: no one has knocked me off yet.
Here’s the analogy that changed how I see people — including the ones who drive me crazy:
Humans are Chocolate
Think about it. A little bit of chocolate is divine. Too much makes you nauseous. Each person, in the right quantity, is perfect for just about everybody. But too much of anyone—even someone wonderful—leaves others exhausted, overwhelmed, annoyed, or ready to hide.
We spend so much time trying to fix what’s “wrong” with people (including ourselves). What if nothing’s actually broken?
What if that colleague who talks too much in meetings isn’t defective? They’re just chocolate, and you’ve had too much.
What if your perfectionist teammate isn’t neurotic? They’re precisely the right amount of intense for some situations, just not all of them.
What if we’re all born perfect, and the real skill is learning when to amplify our natural strengths and when to temper them?
The magic isn’t becoming someone else. It’s becoming fluent in your own dosage.
Some days you need to be dark chocolate—rich, intense, transformative. Other days, you’re better off being the milk chocolate—smooth, approachable, comforting.
The art is in knowing which moment calls for it.
And here’s the kicker: once you see others as perfectly calibrated chocolate rather than flawed humans needing fixing, everything shifts. You stop trying to change people and start figuring out the right serving size.
The bottom line
You’re not too much or too little. You’re not broken or lacking. You are chocolate. The world needs your exact flavour. Just not the whole bar at once.